Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
