i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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