just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
