I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
