The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
this hospital has no fireball
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
