I think I died a long time ago.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize