Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
