quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
