the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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