you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober