youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
