There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
