no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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