flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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