Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I skipped work to stalk him.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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