He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize