I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
