porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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