I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Randomize
