I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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