Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
