i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
