Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
