Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just had sex bonerless
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She bit a glass in half.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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