Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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