remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
