so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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