During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
