Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
