Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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