Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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