i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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