Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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