:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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