Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
