uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
