in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
