every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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