We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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