If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
