You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize