Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you traded sex for a burrito?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
