Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
