your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
