Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
