Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
