ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
