Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
