I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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