Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
