It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize