It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
