During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
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Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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