hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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