So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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