Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
