question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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