So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm really into asian looking animals
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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