You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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