I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
