why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
