you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
